Don’t Waste Your Pain

Pain. Will I never NOT hurt, and will my body ever NOT ache? Will fractured ribs–that shooting pain in my shoulder–ever heal?  Will this rare disease ever leave and let me look and feel normal again? And, by the way God, is there even a point to all of this? Wisps of thought run through my head as, exhausted, I rest my forehead on my violin case, just wanting the delayed subway to start moving and end this impossibly long commute home.

Pain. Why? What is the point of pain? Is there a point? Does God want to use it, or is it really just an unredeemable result of the fall?

So much pain and hurt everywhere. Over the past months as I have been struggling with my health I have had my eyes open to the vast amount of people that simply do not feel good most of the time. So many people with health issues and chronic diseases that just live with daily pain. I realize how much I have taken my health for granted, and I also realize that, even though I may be struggling, I know nothing of the ache of countless other. I may be sick and not getting better right now, which is frustrating, but I’m starting to get answers and I think it’s treatable– at least I’m not dying. It could have been cancer and it’s not. I’m blessed, so blessed.

There is a physical pain, but even deeper than this is the emotional pain that people live with day to day. Deep hurts, deep wounds, deep loss. Loneliness and questions that don’t seem to go away. Broken marriages, rejection, depression…I recently heard of a woman with 7 children who lost her husband in an accident. I can’t imagine waking every morning to that pain.

Pain. Why? What is the point of pain? Is there a point? Does God want to use it, or is it really just an unredeemable result of the fall?

I believe, yes, there must be a point! My Jesus is too good and loves me too much to let all this be random. And feeling the ache—it means you are alive! After you have felt and tasted the bitter your capacity to enjoy the sweet is intensified in a way you never could have experienced otherwise. People who have gone through deep waters have a heightened capacity to minister to others because they can actually understand and enter into the hurt as well.

Don’t waste your pain–please don’t! I remember the words of a wise man (my dear dad) this past summer in the midst of tests, and tears and questions. I told him that I just desperately didn’t want any of this to be wasted—didn’t want any of this to be meaningless. And he told me something that I think will always stick with me. He said that the only way it will be wasted is if you bail on God. If you give up. If we offer our struggles to God, He will be faithful to use them and they will not be wasted, so don’t bail. Please don’t! None of it has to be wasted!

Loneliness, questions, ache—embrace them because it means you are alive. Nothing is wasted unless you bail on Him. You have not been abandoned and Jesus loves you far too much to have the events in your life be random. He said “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.” And, oh, the sweetness of that comfort…He is drawing you close and the joy will be so much sweeter in the end.

                                            Those who sow with tears will reap with songs of joy. 

                                                                            ~Psalm 126:5

                                         Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.                                                                            ~Matthew 5:4

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