Life in the Alleyway

Waiting, desire, and pain are all a part of life. Sometimes it seems so much easier to just shut down our hearts because desire for something that may never be attained is too painful to live with. It hurts to feel and numbness can be comforting. But if you feel nothing are you really alive? I am becoming more convinced that we must be willing to truly feel, and love, and grieve in order to really live. And isn’t that the lifestyle that Jesus calls us too? A life of passion that is willing to go to, not just the physically difficult places, but the mentally and emotionally difficult ones as well?..Normally this blog is a compilation of my own writings, but this quote from a book by Jan Meyers is beautiful and profound…

“How sad. How very sad. I’ve been ushered away from the meal I know the chef intended for me. As I look around this alleyway, everything I see is cold, dark, and lonely. I’m going to slowly look around the harshness of this place, and then I will weep. I will weep for what has been lost. Then I will set my gaze through that back kitchen window. From just the right angle, I’m able to see the table where I once sat. As the back door opens and closes, the aromas of the kitchen hit my senses and remind me of what I had. I will not cover my eyes; I will not cover my nose. I will allow myself to be reminded of what was. And I will wait. I will not wait merely for the meal to be restored to me–that may never happen. But I will wait for God. It is His gaze, His care for me that haunts me, and it is His seeming abandonment that puzzles me. In the waiting I will wrestle with my own personal dilemma with the chef. And in the waiting I will offer my presence to those around me; I will find opportunities to love.”

–Jan Meyers The Allure of Hope: God’s Pursuit of a Woman’s Heart

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