More changes. I really shouldn’t let my heart get so attached to places. Two months ago I was restlessly waiting to be moved into my apartment and “get on with life.” I was tired of “waiting around” and things were looking quite different than I had anticipated when I packed my bags to leave the Shire and move to NY. Now I was committed to an extra month of waiting in Queens, and, of all things, I was going to be a cook! This had not been in my plan for the year. I think God was chuckling…
My heart has gotten attached. I’ve gotten to live and cook and clean alongside an amazing lady for two months. I’m going to miss getting up in the early morning hours with our coffee and Bibles…
Long Term Orientation at the Training Center began in September and I wasn’t sure I was ready for it. Wasn’t sure I was ready for living with a pile of people and needing to get past my introverted, selfish self and invest in peoples lives. But God has taught me so much these past few weeks, and I really have enjoyed it. I love these dear people that have touched my life, and I think God knew I needed this time. No, I know God knew I needed this. I can’t believe my duties here as cook are ending this week…am I ready to leave this little neighborhood in Queens that has burrowed its way into my heart and become the setting of a chapter in my life?
This week I move to Brooklyn for a few weeks until I can move into my new apartment. I start teaching music at an actual school. I start a new life. So much change.
Change can be so hard…moving on and letting go. They say it’s a part of life.
Why? Why do some of us seem to have to say goodbye more than others?
Seasons. Chapters. How do we learn to give our hearts fully without fearing the pain of saying goodbye and letting go? Is there even any way around it? You could lock up your heart and chose not to ever let people in, but it’s not worth the price you pay.
Yes, it’s worth it to love so much that it hurts to say goodbye. That means it was real. That means your alive. A heart that feels no pain is dead.
Inevitable? Yes…but it’s good. If there were no conflict in a story and the plot was stagnant there would be no character growth and the book would be boring. Jesus has shown himself completely powerful in the past two months and has so clearly displayed His faithfulness. I’m so excited to see what He’s going to do next. He has been faithfully and miraculously providing me with exactly what I need, and I know this is only the next step in the beginning of a new adventure.
So lets not fear or dread the changes. Lets take on each new adventure and pursue it with passion. Lets embrace the changes knowing that God’s got all of this and He wants to amaze us with His power as HE writes our stories.